Can It Have Come to That?
by Wolf With Morals
Summary: "We all know the fate of alien SPIES!"- a scene through the eyes of a mad-man.


_I really like Colin Baker, and I wish he'd been given a better lot as the Doctor. _

_Anyways, here's just a little something I wrote set during that painful episode: "Twin Dilemma". _

_Enjoy my insanity._

* * *

"…We all know the fate of alien SPIES!" My hands found her throat with ease. I had never before felt the blood rush through me like this, the pounding of my hearts made me all the stronger. I felt her soft skin give as I squeezed and waves of adrenaline made me feel slightly light-headed.

She screamed for only a moment, my new body was hefty and strong. Very strong. She looked so small, so un-threatening. That's how they all looked. All these people who came on my TARDIS. They all looked so innocent. Peri, this little devious woman, was far from innocent. I had never seen it before. That evil lurking in her eyes, the depth of her depravity. How had I not seen it?

Struggling, she tried to force me away. But, there was no force in the galaxy that could stop me now. I was strong, I was new and I was deadly. I could feel it with every fiber of my being.

I tightened my fingers further, planning it out in my mind. If I brought her down near the door, I would be able to throw her out. I would kill her first though. Yes, I would kill this ingrate and then I would be rid of her.

It all happened in a matter of moments, faster then one could make a cup of tea. I began pulling her by the neck towards the console so I could open the door to the vortex beyond.

'What do you think you're doing there, Hmm? This is not the way you ought to be behaving!' The voice pierced through my mind, and I brushed him away. He was dead. Swallowed up by the fire that poured through me, the volcano that exploded within my skin and made me a new man. He was _dead_.

'You are the Doctor! The Doctor! Oh my giddy Aunt…' His voice clanged about for a moment, ringing with moans and sighs and worries. He was dead too. I threw him away, tossing him to the back of my mind.

'You cannot do this. I refuse to let you go on with it. Think rationally, young man!' The clipped tone immediately made me hate him. He was long gone, and he had no rights to be here. Not now.

'_Yes_…well, this does seem to be a problem. Not listening, are we? Well I-' I crumpled up the thoughts like a child would crush used drawing paper and compacted his voice into silence.

'Steady on! Calm down, chap, calm down. Now, let go of Miss Brown's neck. Let go of her, Doctor. She's no threat to you, now is she?' I hated this voice the most, and I brought Peri to the floor, hitting her head unconcernedly against the panels that lay beneath my feet. She was struggling, trying to find something, and I ignored her. I was invincible. I was surging with Artron energy. I would be healed in a matter of moments, no matter what nasty trick she had in store.

Her gasp of pain brushed my pounding ears and she brought a small object into my view. It was a mirror, a tiny mirror, no frills, nothing impressive.

'Look at yourself, Doctor. This is not right. This is not who you want to be.' The voice brought a surge of rage, even as I blinked at the wild blood-thirsty eyes reflecting back at me. As dry as tan and dull as beige, the voice continued calmly. 'Let go of her.'

I obeyed, my mind racing as the voices came pouring back in, snippets of shame, regret, anger, despair and fear flashed through my burning body. I heard all of their voices, arguing on what should be done with me. I was dangerous. I was deadly. I was not the Doctor. I was something else. Something wrong.

I forced myself away from Peri and stumbled back, leaning my hip against the TARDIS burying my face in my scalding fingers. I gasped in shock. I took a sharp intake of breath as the gasp fled my mouth to seek safer refuge elsewhere. I huddled slightly, trying to take in what was happening to me.

'He'll need to be destroyed. We can abort the regeneration'

'Kill him? Is that really your best suggestion?'

'Too wild for the Doctor, isn't he? Quite mad. Not safe to be allowed freely into the universe'

'If it wasn't me, don't think I would suggest it. But, he tried to kill his own companion! That simply cannot be normal!'

There was what seemed to be a long pause, although because the conversation was within my own mind, it had no context of time. I stood breathing heavily, trying to keep my body from burning further. Trying to calm down.

I could be the Doctor. I could.

There was a nagging fiery sensation just behind where my jaw connected to my skull. I tried to ignore that it poured down through my body, my arms, my fingers.

'But what if it is? I mean, normal as it were?' Came the response, the second voice out of all of the men that lingered in my brain. I felt my hearts begin to pound faster, my palms were moist against my flushed face.

'We should abort him' Came the eldest voice, and I cringed, waiting to burn again. Surges of fear and regret pumped through me, just beneath my skin and twisted my stomach. 'He's a danger to the universe. A monster if there has ever been one. He attacked that woman with no provocation. I say abort him…hmm?'

'Please.' I gasped out into my own mind.

The voices, arguments, hushed and the youngest sounding voice piped through clearly. 'Yes? What is it?'

'Don't kill me!'

It was silence, and I knew they were waiting for me to plead my case. To prove I was not a monster, to prove I was worthy of the name I was borne into, to show them I was actually…_them_.

'Speak, then. Explain yourself' Came the voice again, prompting me on.

My logical mind seemed to be slow, my flaming body seemed to be fast, my emotions faster still, nothing seemed to be matching up. I refused to be killed. I had something…something to offer…didn't I? 'Help me. By the Matrix and Rassilon, you must help me!'

'Help you? My dear young man what do you suggest we do? You are a living peril to the universe, what can we do to help that?'

'I don't know. I don't know, but there must be something. Help me!'

'Calm down. We'll think of something' This comment brought on a burst of fresh arguing and bickering among them. I only knew I lived because they argued. If they all agreed to, they could terminate me, instantaneous regeneration.

'Quiet down now, quiet down. I think _I_ have a plan' The second's voice spoke above them all, and then the fourth's. 'And a good plan,_ isn't_ it?' He sounded quite self content and smug.

My stomach cramped with the tension, and I curled inwards ever so slightly.

'We will make him forget this incident. Remove it. Store it away'

'That's too dangerous, you midget hobo. It is bound to be remembered and perhaps acted upon again!'

'Do be quiet while I am talking. You see, I have a full plan. Five?'

'Yes, well, without directly aborting him, we have no real affect on his actions. But his mind is where we dwell and have freedom to help. Should he attempt something dangerously manic again, we can choose whether to…abort, or to remove the memory of the event. Rendering him harmless'

'Think of the mood swings that tampering will cause! He will become highly unstable!' I found myself arguing, trying to funnel this energy into something, even if I could not remember what they were discussing. I felt like my blood was boiling, and I had to move soon, or else my skin would burst open.

Silence echoed in my mind a moment.

'It is better then dead' It was also my voice, my new voice. I argued with myself. I listened to the mutterings of the previous five men that lived within my seared cranium.

'We do not kill. Not even him. Perhaps with time, we can help mellow him'

'What of his companion? The poor thing.'

'If he again attempts to kill her, we agree that he is not the Doctor?'

'Agreed' _Six_ voices chimed in unison. Old, young, hesitant, proud, quirky, dull.

'Now, forget.'

'Forget? Forget what?' I demanded in annoyance, the burning in my skin making me far more irritable then I should have been.

'You will turn around. You will face Peri. You will realize there is something _wrong_' The soft voice faded like salt onto a glass of water, and I slowly pulled my burning hands from my face.

"What…what happened?" I asked hesitantly, distinctly feeling there was something wrong, something very wrong. Peri wouldn't look up at me. She hated me. I hated…_me_. I hated me. I tried to brush this thought aside swiftly, burying it with my fears.

There was such dread in her eyes, and such a pit of boiling loathing in my stomach. I tried to wrap my frenzied mind around what she was saying. I approached her, watching her back away in fear and flash the mirror at my face again. "You really are afraid…aren't you?" I stared at her in horror, and there was a slow ebbing of pain. The heat was dying away, giving me an icy knot in my chest.

What was I? The ice began to seep through my mind, and I turned away from my young companion. "Oh no… Can it have come to that?"

'Steady on, let's get you somewhere safe. Find a quiet place. Somewhere we can get you sorted' Came a voice in my mind.

'And it would be preferable if there were no people. Less of us having to keep you from-'

'Put that scarf in your mouth, you're confusing him. He has the basic idea' A clipped strong tense voice chimed in.

"Alas poor Peri! Not for us the pleasures of Thesta 95!" That burning sensation burst within me again and I began rambling. Unable to hold her gaze for more then a few moments at a time, I kept talking with my hands, refusing to look too long at her worried brown eyes.

Frightened that her eyes may reveal the truth about this regeneration. That there was something wrong with me, something was very wrong.


End file.
